He never answered any questions but his homework was always quite excellent. If any one said anything to him he would simply nod, or shake his head.

The staff thought he was shy and decided to do something to give him confidence.

"Tommy," said his teacher. "I've just bet Miss Smith $5 I can get you to say three words. You can have half."

Tommy looked at her slyly and said, "You lose."

The Paramedic

One day, at a casino buffet, a man suddenly called out, "My son's choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help! Please, anyone! Help!"

A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he was quite experienced at this sort of thing.

He stepped over with almost no look of concern at all, wrapped his hands around the boy's gonads, and squeezed.

Out popped the quarter. The man then went back to his table as though nothing had happened. "Thank you! Thank you!" the father cried.

"Are you a paramedic?" "No," replied the man. "I work for the IRS."

Bill Gates Chooses Heaven or Hell

Bill Gates arrives at the port to heaven and hell. Petrus says: You see Bill, we don't know what to do with you. You may choose "heaven" or "hell". Bill peeks in heaven and sees a couple of old boring men sitting around at a table. Bill takes a look in hell and sees really beautiful women, sex, drugs, rock and roll, and most of all, gambling. So Bill says : I am a gambling man, I want to go to hell! Once in hell, Bill is immediately thrown into the fire. So Bill says : hey, what the hell is this, I saw all the gambling, the women, and sex? The devil says: 'That was just a demo version."

I'm Home

Two men were at the Casino and were just leaving to go home at 3:00 a.m.

Man1: You know what I hate about this? When I go home. I turn off my headlights, turn off the engine, and coast into the driveway. Then I go to the front door, take off my shoes and sneak in as quietly as I can. But my wife always wakes up and we end up having a fight.

Man2: What I do instead is drive into the driveway, honk the horn a few times, get out of the car, slam the door, go in the house and slam the door. Then I yell "Honey, I'm home," run upstairs, slap her on the ass and say, "How about a little love, woman?" She never even moves.